Twilight Earth

  Bedouin’s Travels

  Twilight Earth – Book I

  By Ben Winston

  Copyright © 2015 Ben Winston

  Published by Blue Space Publications, LLC.

  Table of Contents

  Copyright Page

  Disclaimer

  Author’s Note

  Twilight Earth – Book I

  About the Author

  Connect with the author or Blue Space Publications, LLC.

  Books Published by Blue Space Publications, LLC.

  Disclaimer

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review to be printed by a newspaper, magazine, or journal.

  All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Author’s Note

  In the following book, there are a lot of celestial references that may sound real, but they are not. In order to establish the proper ‘ambiance’ for the situation, the astronomical objects and phenomena exist only in the author’s mind.

  Twilight Earth – Book I

  Bedouin Residence

  Fulton's Prairie, Missouri

  United States

  "Hey Ben, do you have a minute?" Tom Bedouin asked his son.

  "Sure Dad, what's up?" Ben said, looking up from the book he was reading.

  "You know I haven't been feeling so hot lately, right?" Tom said.

  "Yeah, it's getting worse, isn't it?" Ben asked.

  "Uh, yeah. That's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about." Suddenly, Tom looked very old to his son. They had been pretty good friends growing up, and Tom had always made sure to make time for his kids. They had a great relationship. But suddenly, it was like Ben was looking at a different person.

  "How bad is it? You really don't look so good," Ben said after thinking about it for a minute.

  "I'm dying, it doesn't get much worse than that, Ben. The doctors told me I don't have much time left." Seeing the tears forming in his son's eyes prompted his own.

  "Damn, I didn't want to cry." Ben had started crying, but he was trying to be strong. "Did they give you a time frame?"

  Tom nodded. "Sort of. Because of the nature of the tumor, I could go anytime. When it happens it could be slow, I'll just go downhill and then die. Or I could have an aneurysm and just fall over. They couldn't tell me which. I got the feeling that they were surprised I was still going." He paused. "I did get everything set up. For the time being, Deirdre will have custody of your sister, Kaitlin. Since you're already eighteen, I didn't have to do much for you."

  Ben looked down at his hands. "No, I don't suppose you did."

  "Look here, this is important," Tom said. "Bob Gilly has the will, but there is a lot of other stuff you don't know about. Deirdre knows some of it, but she's been sworn to secrecy. I left a letter for you in my safe, she has the combination and will open it for you when its time."

  Deirdre was the young woman Tom had taken in to help care for the kids. She was only a couple of years older than Ben, and it was obvious Tom didn't so much as hire the orphan so much as take her in under the guise of a job. Tom adopted her. She finished high school and Tom had told her she could go to college as well, but she hadn't chosen one yet.

  He took off his wedding ring and handed to his son. "Take this. I was really hoping I would see the day that Jorga put this on your hand, but I don't think I'm gonna make it."

  "Sure you will, Dad! The doctors have been wrong so far, you'll still be here when we get married!" Ben replied

  "No Ben, I won't. I can feel it. These damn pain meds they gave me aren't really working anymore," Tom replied. "I don't want to be an invalid, Ben. I couldn't stand it!" very softly, he continued. "I won't let it happen.

  "Marcy and Kaitlin are going out tonight, Ben. I'd like it if you would take Jorga and Deirdre out to a movie and a nice dinner," Tom replied.

  "You want everyone out of the house? Why?" Ben asked suspiciously.

  "There's one last thing I need to take care of Ben and then I'll be ready. In order to do that, I'll need everyone to be gone. Can you do that for me?" Tom asked, ignoring Ben's question.

  "Sure Dad, I'll give Jorgie a call right now, then I’ll talk to Deirdre," Ben asked.

  Tom rose to his feet feeling a little dizzy from the morphine and nodded. "Thank you, Ben. I love you, you know. I'm so proud of the man you've become. I know your Mom would feel the same."

  "Thanks Dad, I love you too," Ben replied. "Are you sure this is the right choice?"

  "Yeah, I am. I've been having episodes of blindness, paralysis and seizures. There is a very good chance the next episode will be permanent, and by then it'll be too late for me to do this without any help. I won't ask any of you to do that for me," Tom explained.

  "Kaitlin's not going to understand. You've done a good job of getting us prepared for the end, but I think she honestly believes it'll never come," Ben replied.

  "I know and I'm sorry for that. I want her to remember me as I am now and have been, I don't want her to remember the old invalid, hooked up to machines just to keep him alive." He sighed. "Take care of our family, Ben," Tom said, as he turned and left the room.

  "Hi Jorga, Dad asked us to take Deirdre out tonight, and I need some ideas for the date," Ben asked after his girlfriend answered. He didn’t sound as excited as he usually did, but Jorga let it slide for the time being.

  "Really? This should be fun. Let's leave about four, go over to Bentonville and walk around the mall for a while, then go to dinner at Shenanigan's. We can catch a movie or something when we get back," Jorga suggested.

  "I still don't understand how she doesn't have a boyfriend at least. She said she isn't gay, so I just don’t get it. It's not like she's ugly!" Ben asked.

  Jorga laughed. "No, she definitely isn't ugly. She just doesn't want a relationship right now, there's nothing wrong with wanting to stay single." Jorga replied. "Now are you going to tell me why the prospect of a date with two beautiful woman is depressing to you?"

  "It's Dad. I think the reason he wants us all out of the house is because... he's really hurting, Jorgie," Ben said, not able to bring himself to say that his dad was going to kill himself.

  Her normally joyful, buoyant personality was subdued when he mentioned his father. "Ben, you remember my grandmother, right? I think I can understand what he's going through." She paused, trying very hard to not tell him too much. "If it were me, I think I'd feel pretty much the same way. You think he's going to... uh, leave tonight?"

  Ben nodded, but she couldn't see that. "Yeah, he all but told me when we talked earlier. He told me about all the preparations he has made, and how he hoped he hadn't overlooked anything. He took off his wedding ring and gave it to me before apologizing that he wouldn't be there to see us get married."

  "That does sound pretty dire. But, the question is, do we respect his wishes, or do we stop him from doing what he plans?" Jorga said. "I love you Ben, but if it were me, I would hope you'd let me go."

  "That's what's tearing me up Jorga, I'm having a hard time letting him go. I just can't imagine life without him."

  For a moment, J
orga was silent. "Does Kaitlin know yet?"

  "No, and she won't until after it's over. She won't be able to let him go," Ben replied. "He's been getting us ready for his eventual death, but I don't think she really believes it. Look, I don't want her to overhear us, so why don't I go talk to Deirdre, and then we’ll get ready to go. We can talk more after we leave."

  "Yeah, that's a good plan. I take it Deirdre is aware of his plan as well?"

  "Honestly I don't know for certain, but even if he hasn't told her I'd be surprised if she didn't know. Not much happens here that she isn't aware of," Ben replied. "She's a little creepy like that at times."

  "Maybe, but not really in a bad way. She just cares about all of you," Jorga said. "Go talk to her. I'll see you both in a little while." Jorga finished.

  Ben nodded to himself. "Okay, I'll go talk to her. I love you and I'll see you later."

  "I love you too, see you then."

  Ben found Deirdre in her room, reading a book. After knocking, she asked him to come in. She was lying on her bed on her tummy. Ben was struck by how beautiful she was and not for the first time wondered why she didn't have a boyfriend. At twenty years old, she was five feet, five inches tall. Weighed no more than a hundred and twenty pounds, had dark hair and sea-foam colored eyes. She had a sweet personality that had captured more than one heart in their small town. Yet, she was still single.

  "Hey Dee, how are you doing?" Ben asked, trying to be cheerful.

  "About as well as can be expected I guess. How are you doing?" She replied.

  "I'm holding it together, barely. Dad would like Jorga and me to take you out to dinner tonight. He, uh, thinks that would help with some of the stress," Ben said.

  "So he's settled on tonight then?" Deirdre asked and nodded. "Yes, I'll go with you. What time do you want to leave?"

  "Jorga wants us to pick her up around four. Is that enough time for you to get ready?" Ben asked.

  Deirdre put a bookmark in the novel she was reading and sat up, placing the book on her nightstand. "Yeah, I can be ready by then. Where are we going to dinner at?"

  "Jorga suggested Shenanigan's over in Bentonville and maybe a movie after," Ben said.

  Deirdre smiled sadly. "That sounds good." She stood and looked him in the eyes. "Do you know where Tom is? I'd like to say good-bye."

  Ben could tell she was really fighting tears, and trying very hard to hold it together. He got up and put his arms around his adopted sister.

  When they finally parted, Deirdre looked up into his eyes. "Thank you Ben, I really needed that."

  "I just want to make sure you know you're loved, sis," Ben said.

  She smiled up at him sadly. "I have been feeling a little like an outsider, thanks."

  Not knowing what else to say, Ben chose to answer her question. "I think Dad's in his office. He said something about needing to take care of a few things." He paused as they parted. "Deirdre, Jorga and I will always be here for you, no matter what."

  "I think I'm starting to understand that, Ben. It's just kind of sad that it took something like this for me to see it," she said. She patted his shoulder as she slipped past him to find Tom.

  Kaitlin was Ben's sixteen-year-old little sister. She was growing up to be a pretty young lady, and she resembled the pictures of their mother that they had on the walls. Her best friend was Marcy Simms, and the pair of them could almost always be found in the other's company.

  Ben found the two in Kaitlin's room getting ready to go out. He had to wait after knocking, since someone may not have been decent. When he was finally allowed in, he saw it had been his sister who was now wearing a bra and panties. Ben blushed and turned around. "Jesus Kait! You could have put a little more on!"

  "What, and miss out on making you blush?" Kaitlin teased. "Whatcha need?"

  "I wanted to make sure you got your homework finished, to see what you had planned for the evening and to make sure you had everything you need," Ben replied still looking at the back of the door.

  "You can turn back around now, you big dope," Kaitlin said.

  He turned and saw she was now wearing a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. Marcy had been wearing a housecoat, but was now also dressed. "Thanks. It's not that I mind, you're both very pretty, but..."

  "Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's someone else you'd rather see naked, right?" Kaitlin teased.

  "Yeah, like a certain Jorga somebody?" Marcy added. "She's so beautiful I guess we just don't compete, Kat."

  "I refuse to comment! Your evil Jedi mind tricks won't work on me!" Ben replied. That was his standard answer when the girls in his life tried to put him in one of those no-win situations females excel at.

  Kaitlin did a near-perfect 'Master Yoda' imitation. "Learning you are, young Padawan. Understanding to you will come."

  Ben chuckled. "So, what are the two of you going to do tonight?"

  "The Mall. Shopping and a movie most likely," Marcy replied. "Kat might change her mind, though."

  "About shopping? I didn't think women ever changed their minds about that," Ben replied, grinning. "What about the homework?"

  "You know, you're more of a homework-nazi than dad ever was. Just like the last time you asked; we are both still way ahead in all of our classes," Kaitlin answered. "In fact, we're ready for finals, but have to wait until next month for that."

  Ben frowned. "That might not be a good thing. I'll ask Deirdre to speak to the Principal to see if you can test out early. If you have all the assignments finished you should test on it before you forget it."

  "I'd appreciate it, Ben. Marcy won't forget it, but I might," Kaitlin replied.

  "The curse of an eidetic memory," Marcy shrugged. "I can still remember the books my Mom read to me as a little girl."

  "Ben, what's wrong? You don't seem as happy as you are normally?" Kaitlin asked.

  Ben shook his head. "Don't worry about it, sweet-pea. Call it adjustment difficulties."

  "Dad's sick again, isn't he?" Kaitlin asked. When Ben just nodded. She tried to cheer him up. "Don't worry, he'll come out of it. He always does."

  "Kait, you know that won't always be the case, right? He's dying and there isn't a treatment for it," Ben explained. "One of these days he won't be able to come out of it."

  "Maybe, but that's a long ways off. Dad's a fighter, look how long he's been able to fight it so far?" Kait said as she looked in the mirror to brush her hair. Marcy was looking at him curiously, but Ben looked at Kaitlin meaningfully and shook his head at Marcy. She seemed to deflate a little but covered it quickly for Kaitlin's sake.

  "Anyway, you guys need anything for tonight?" Ben asked. "I need to start getting ready for my own date."

  "Oh? Where are you taking Jorga tonight?" Kait asked.

  "Actually, Jorga and I are taking Deirdre with us tonight. Probably dinner and a movie or something else fun," Ben replied.

  "Really?" Kaitlin said. "Deirdre would like that. I think she's been getting a little lonely lately."

  "Yeah," Ben said. "I got that feeling too, besides, Dad asked us to take her along tonight." Ben sighed. "Anyway, you two have fun tonight."

  "You too!" Kaitlin said.

  Ben smiled and headed for his room to get ready to go out.

  After getting ready for the date, Ben decided he wanted to talk to Tom again before they left for the night. He found the man in his den, working on his computer.

  "Hey Ben, give me just a moment. I want to get this finished. Okay?" Tom said when Ben entered.

  Ben nodded and got a soda from the small wet-bar Tom had built then took a seat to wait. After about five minutes, Tom reached up and turned his monitor off. "There, that should take care of the last of it. Now, what can I do for you, Ben?"

  "Dad, are you going to take all your pain killers tonight?" Ben asked bluntly. "Please, no more hinting or pussy-footing around. I would like some straight answers."

  Tom nodded. He was blinking a lot and his motions were slowed and exaggerated as if he were drunk. Be
n knew that it was the very powerful painkillers he had to take in order to live with the tumor. "I was beginning to wonder how long you'd put up with the bullshit. I never could stand it very much either." He paused. "Yes Ben, I'm planning on ending my life tonight. That's what I've been working on, making sure everything is set up so you won't have to worry about anything during the transition.

  "Like I tried to tell you earlier, I just can't stand the pain anymore, I'm blind more often than I can see, and I'm having trouble walking. I will not go to a hospice and I really don't want you kids to see me like that," he finished.

  "You've never been a quitter, Dad. It's hard for me to accept you doing this," Ben said.

  "Ben, I know it looks like I'm quitting, or giving up, and in a way I suppose I am. In my defense, I would like to say that I just couldn’t find the strength to fight anymore. You, Kaitlin and Deirdre have been that strength in the past, but it is time for me to let go. You're a grown man, about to start your own life with Jorga. Kaitlin is not only one of the smartest people I know, she's also very mature. Deirdre is also taken care of, so I know I can let go and you'll be just fine. Ben, there's a ton of stuff I've never told you about and after I'm gone, you'll get hit with it. I'd tell you all about it, but I honestly don't remember a lot of it anymore. That's another reason I want to put an end to this pain. I'm losing my mind; I can feel it. I've had Bob double checking me on everything and he's been catching more and more stuff I've screwed up." He sighed and continued.

  "Money will never be a problem for you or the girls. I've seen to that. I've also set up scholarships for all of you that can be transferred to any University you choose for anything you may wish to learn to any level. That includes Marcy and Jorga. By the way, I've asked Deirdre to investigate the possibility for Kait and Marcy to test out of high school so they can get to their real educations." Tom blinked a couple more times and put his head in his hands. "Damn, blind again, I'm going to have to ask you to help me back to my room, Ben."

  Ben nodded and stood. "Marcy and Kait have already left for the mall. They should be gone the rest of the day."